Ep 548 –Finding Clarity in Your Practice with Whitney Lowe

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0:01:19.7 Whitney Lowe: Hello everyone, this is Whitney Lowe and welcome to the ABMP podcast. In today's episode, I want to be a bit reflective and also maybe get a little bit personal with you. So let me start with a question. Have you ever reached the end of a long workday, hands tired, body sore, brain overloaded, and thought, man, I love this work, why do I feel so drained right now? I've been there, I promise. More than once. A number of years ago, actually, this was several decades ago, I was in a place where my schedule was full. I was being seriously challenged in my clinical work. I was working with fascinating cases in an orthopedic clinic, and I was pushing myself to be a better educator with my students. From the outside, everything looked really successful, but inside I was overwhelmed. I was busy, really busy. And I realized something uncomfortable. I was doing a lot of meaningful work, but I felt I'd lost my compass as to why I was working so hard at this. I was feeling the early edges of burnout, I felt. So I did something that felt a little dramatic at the time.

0:02:33.8 WL: I sat down and I asked myself a question about what the real meaning was behind all these things that I was doing. And that led me to writing down a personal mission statement. Not a cheesy business mission statement, not marketing copy, but a statement of my personal mission of why I was doing this work. A clear directive about what it was, what it meant to me, and why was I doing the things that I was doing. And what I landed on was this. My primary mission is to help heal pain in the world. And massage therapy is the vehicle through which I do that. Now, that single sentence changed how I worked in immeasurable ways. It didn't make my days shorter, it didn't magically eliminate stress, but it gave me a compass. It became a filter for every decision I made. Which clients I said yes to, how I structured sessions, where I invested my energy, and just as importantly, where I didn't. So when I get to those days where things were just overwhelming, I could find that calm. And this still happens today, and just ask, why am I doing all this?

0:03:46.4 WL: Oh, yeah, right. I'm trying to heal pain in the world. Okay, so let's get back to it. Today, we're going to talk about how you can find that same clarity. We'll look at why mission matters for your longevity, what a mission actually looks like, and how to use it as a tool in your treatment room starting tomorrow. Massage therapy is a deeply rewarding career, but let's be honest, it's incredibly demanding. We aren't just doing physical labor. We are managing a complex intersection of factors every single day. We have the physical strain of our work. Especially if you're dealing with more complex type of pain conditions or something like that, where you have to be thinking a great deal and dealing with people's pain conditions or emotions, that can be pretty demanding. So we're using our bodies as tools for our work. Emotional labor. We often discount the importance of this, but we're holding space for people who are often in a state of distress or chronic suffering. Now, that may not be as much true if you're dealing with primarily relaxation clients, but that's a different type of stress that you're dealing with because they may be waiting weeks or months for that one day when they come in to see you.

0:05:03.9 WL: And they put a lot of emphasis on that place in their life in being with you. That puts a lot of pressure on you in those situations. That's some of the challenges that you deal with in the client expectations. We also have sometimes the pressure of them feeling like we need to fix things for them. Maybe they come to us in pain and they really are assuming you're going to be able to fix it. You're going to be able to help them get out of pain. There's also that degree of financial uncertainty and sometimes even blurred boundaries. This is the struggle to say no to that late-night appointment because you need the income or you feel guilty for leaving someone in pain who says they just gotta come in to see you. I remember talking to a colleague of mine one time who said he had gotten to a place where a client was showing up at his house, asking him to come do work for them at the clinic because he needed them so badly. Those are boundaries and challenges that you gotta make sure you set for yourself so that you don't get overwhelmed and that you don't get abused.

0:05:17.3 WL: Many therapists don't really burn out because they don't care. They burn out because they care so much. This is something that is commonly referred to as compassion fatigue. And when your mission isn't clear, you become a yes person. You say yes to that client who drains your energy. You work with clients who don't really fit your skill set. You absorb emotional weight that was never meant to be yours to carry. And this can happen without you really being aware of it so many times. So this is why calling your attention to these things and watching for them is so valuable to keep yourself healthy in the work that you're doing. And remember, burnout isn't always about exhaustion. Sometimes it's meaning erosion. That means it's the feeling that you're just maybe rubbing muscles without a real destination.

0:07:01.5 WL: A personal mission anchors that meaning. It reminds you, this is why I'm here. This is how I help. And critically, this is where my responsibility ends, or these are my boundaries and I'm going to stick to them. Now, when people hear the phrase mission statement, they often think of corporate jargon. Those framed posters in hotel lobbies that talk about synergy and excellence and all kinds of words like that. That's not what we're doing here. This is a personal mission. And a personal mission has three component parts. It's a short statement of purpose. It's also a decision-making compass.

0:07:41.9 WL: And it's a reminder of what really matters to you most on your most difficult days. It's not a marketing slogan. You don't ever have to put this on your business card, your posters, or post it on social media anywhere. This is more something that is going to guide you as your individual personal compass. You may remember that great scene in the movie 'Jerry Maguire' where he stays up all night writing a personal mission statement. Pages and pages of it. And he's swearing, he's inspired, he's vulnerable. And then he publishes it and distributes it to all of his colleagues. And then it costs him his job. Now, I'm certainly not suggesting that you send out a midnight manifesto to your employer or maybe even to your peers in the clinic room. But that scene resonates with us because clarity has consequences. When you know what you stand for, it changes what you're willing to tolerate. And it changes how you see your time and what you do with it. Your mission doesn't have to be dramatic or cinematic. It just has to be true and true for you. Don't make this something that has to be approved by other people or something that you think other people need to give you credit or kudos for.

0:08:58.8 WL: It's really just for you and your personal mission and your personal directions. So now let's try to get practical with this just a little bit. How do you actually write a personal mission? A strong personal mission usually answers three specific questions. Who do I serve? And remember, this is not everyone. This could be the same thing as a niche market that you serve with your massage practice, but it could also be maybe a particular group of people that you haven't really been able to tap into yet. Maybe you feel like you really want to work with professional tennis athletes, but you haven't found a way in there yet. That could be part of your mission, finding a way to connect with those individuals that really drive your desire to want to do the things that you want to do. Maybe you love doing relaxation massage and you just want to help people unwind and relax. Whatever it is, think about that. I know that whoever it is that you want to serve, it's perfectly okay, but you're going to do a much better job when you work towards meeting those people, connecting with them, and getting them to be a part of your practice.

0:10:07.7 WL: And then what kind of outcome do you care about? What is really the sort of main goal of the things that you're doing? Is it, again, general relaxation with people? Is it just getting them to take stress off of their life? Just having an hour in their day once a month or once every couple of weeks they know they don't have to think about anything. They can just let go and you take care of them. Or maybe your work is about pain relief. Maybe it's really like for me, my sort of mission and focus is on helping to relieve people in pain. This is a big responsibility. But if that's something that really drives you, and for me, I love that part of it. I love that idea of thinking that when I go to work in a clinic room, I can change people's life and help them get out of pain just because of what I do with my hands and how I interact with them. That's tremendously powerful and a tremendously reinforcing way to have a career and a life. I mean, a lot of people say they would pay to be able to have a job like that where you're just doing that kind of thing with just what you come to work with, with your hands.

0:10:40.5 WL: It's incredibly powerful. So if helping people feel at home in their bodies is what you're about, let that be your primary outcome. And then the third part, how do I do that? What's your sort of unique, particular approach to getting to those things? What is the way or the methodology that you use? Maybe it's a particular technique or a modality or a unique sort of integrated approach that you use to get to your clients.

0:11:45.6 WL: What is your unique way to get there? And so here's a sort of a simple template, maybe a template sample, if you want to call it that, that you could use for a mission. You could say, "I serve..." Well, I'll just use a fill in the blank. "I serve (blank) in order to (blank)" that's the outcome "by (blank)" that's your methodology. So the first blank is, who is it that you serve? Second one, what's the outcome that you're looking for? And third, what is the means by which you get there? So let me give you another few examples, especially through an orthopedic lens. This is my personal bias of the area in which I work. So here are some mission statements that you could use or mission ideas that you could use to give you some sense of that. Here's one, "I help people reduce chronic pain through focused orthopedic massage and practical self-care." Something like that. So this explains who I work with, chronic pain patients, the outcome, what is that outcome? Helping them reduce pain, through the methodology of focused orthopedic work and practical self-care. Or maybe you could say something like, "I support athletes returning to activities by combining hands-on therapy with progressive movement."

0:13:07.0 WL: Again, this is your population, the who that you serve, the athletic population that's trying to return to activity. That's the primary outcome. And what is your methodology? With progressive movement and the hands-on manual therapy. Or maybe you're working in a completely different environment and you say something like, "I help office workers regain mobility and improve their lifestyle by addressing posture, strain, and ergonomics." That can be a very simple process and the things that you may do, maybe even with chair massage or things where you're going to somebody's workplace to work with them. In all of these examples, this helps you really get clear again why you're doing the things that you're doing and why this is so important and so beneficial for directing the type of work that's going to make you so much more effective in the things that you're doing. And you can change these topics, outcomes, and audiences over time. So don't feel like you have to get married to a statement that's always going to be yours. Keep it human, keep it simple, avoid jargon. Just one sentence is enough. And remember, this is going to evolve. Your mission ideally will likely grow with you as you grow. And it shouldn't be a cage that has to keep you into a particular box or barrier.

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0:15:12.2 WL: So now that you've maybe set up this mission for yourself, how does that actually change your Tuesday afternoon when you're on your fifth client or the end of a long week or something like that? So first off, let's talk about client selection. When you know your mission is something like healing pain through your focused manual therapy work or whatever it is, you realize that the client is looking for... Maybe the client calls you up and they're looking for a relaxing spa day with scented candles and the mood lighting, et cetera. Maybe that's not the best client for you. Maybe they'd be better served by the therapist down the street who really specializes in that type of work. Your mission gives you the professional permission to say, "Hey, I'm not the best person for this." And I know it's tempting, especially early on when you feel like, "Oh man, I really need this client because I need the income." But just at a certain point recognize what that does to you for taking on those things if they're really not ideal and you take on too many of them. So what is that sort of session intention? Before you start working with somebody and laying your hands on the client, just take a few seconds, 15, 20 seconds or something.

0:16:28.5 WL: Maybe when you go outside to wash your hands as they're getting ready on the treatment table, silently recite your mission and remind yourself, what is it that you're doing? It shifts you from performing a routine, "I'm doing the same thing over and over with people. I'm really getting tired of doing this" in order to serving with presence. I'm reminded of something that I heard James Taylor, the singer, say one time. He was being asked in an interview, "Don't you get tired of singing the same songs every night over and over again?" And he said, "Yeah, of course I do. But then I look out in the audience and I see people out there and I think, they're people out there who've been waiting years or their whole life to come hear me sing these songs. And so I'm gonna give it everything that I've got out there to really be there for them." And I think sometimes if we can remember that piece of the same thing, "Boy, I'm tired at the end of the day. This is my fifth client. I'm really... God, I really wish I could go home."

0:17:32.4 WL: But that person has been waiting all month to come in to see you because they know their life is going to feel so much better when they get through with that session with you. That's a critically valuable thing that we give to people. So when you can again remind yourself, "Oh, yeah, I'm here because I'm helping to reduce pain. I'm here because I'm helping to create space in this person's life. I'm here because I'm trying to be a physical presence for people who just... I know this person is going through a lot of hard emotional things in their life. They just need to get away and escape. That's why I'm here." And then at the end of the day reflection, maybe take some time just at the end of your shift or the end of your day to ask yourself, "Where did my work feel aligned with that mission today, and where did it feel like it was off? How can I adjust that tomorrow? One little tweak, one little adjustment that I can make for tomorrow that might make it just a little bit better." These small shifts, repeated consistently, are what protect your longevity in this career and make you really feel like everything that you're doing is absolutely worth the efforts that you're putting into it.

0:18:41.9 WL: So let's take a moment right now for a little sort of reflection exercise. Take a moment, and if you're driving, stay focused on the road, of course, but if you're doing something else, operating heavy machinery or whatever, don't take your eyes off that. But if you can, just pause for a second. Take one deep, slow breath in and out. And then silently try to complete this sentence in your head, "I serve (blank) in order to (blank) by (blank)." Whatever that is for you, don't judge it. Don't worry if it sounds professional sounding enough. Just notice how it feels. Resonate. How does that resonate with you in terms of what you're doing? Does it energize you? Does it make you feel heavy? Does it feel like there's a piece missing, something else that needs to be further clarified? What is it that would make you feel really aligned with that sentence? Now choose one tiny action for tomorrow based on that sentence. Maybe it's a specific question you want to make sure you ask during an intake. Or maybe it's a boundary that you set with your schedule and say, "No, I'm not gonna do that late appointment just because somebody wants to come and see me."

0:19:58.8 WL: Just one little thing. That might be enough. And every day, one little thing. Those one little things add up over and over again to make the biggest difference. So let's talk about a couple of the common obstacles and sort of reframes that we see so frequently when we talk about getting and establishing this personal mission. And I know what some of you might be thinking. You might say, "Well, Whitney, I don't really know what my mission is yet." That's okay. This is how we get there. Start maybe with your favorite client stories. That's a good place to start. Think about the people who you've really enjoyed working with. What was it in those sessions that just really turned that key for you and made you feel valuable? I remember for me, a long time ago, and this was in the clinic when I was working with a client who had really severe carpal tunnel syndrome. And I was still relatively new to learning about various different pain and injury problems. And it was the attention that I gave to her, and I had been reading and learning about nerve compression problems. I started asking a whole bunch more questions and diving into some other things outside of her work.

0:21:00.0 WL: And it was interesting and fascinating to watch her shift in the middle of the interview before we even started doing any hands-on stuff at all. There was a distinct shift in the interview as I kept probing with these questions and asking more and more specific things. And I saw this look on her face, and I was kind of asking, "Well, is this okay that I'm asking these things?" She goes, "Yes! And I want to know why did nobody ever ask me these things before? They sound like they're really important." And that's the thing. These things are really important. And one of the reasons that people love coming to see the massage therapist is we spend so much time with them, and we focus so intently on what's going on with their bodies, with their lives, with the things that they're feeling. And that just doesn't happen, for example, in the rest of our healthcare system where it's get them in, move them out.

0:22:02.6 WL: You're in and out so quickly with so many other healthcare providers. This is one of the things that makes the work that we do so incredibly powerful. So tune into that. What is it maybe that in some of those clients that you really like working with that makes those things really click for you? And then note that another challenge you might say, I mentioned this earlier, when you are faced with that person that calls up and they really want to come in late after your day is over, and you say, "Oh man, but I really need the income because I'm just getting going." And this person doesn't really align with me, but I really need this client. There's a couple of things here. There's a cost to that. There's a cost, in that, it's a cost to you personally by letting that person go over your boundaries of something that you don't feel comfortable doing. But there's also a cost in that relationship with that client because it's a good likelihood that they'll pick up you're not really there because you want to be there.

0:23:01.8 WL: You're there because you thought, "Oh, I really need this client to do this kind of thing." And that's not the best way for us to serve people. The best way to serve people is recognizing, "Oh, there's a great value. I'm really the ideal person for you to see right now doing this. I'm gonna be here fully for you." And the more you can connect with that vision of why you do the things that you do, that's really powerful. So it's really about leaning toward the work that sustains you personally, sustains you and gives you that kind of sense of, "I really like doing this because I'd even do this for a whole lot less money because I really love doing massage so much." Now, of course, you don't want to do this for a whole lot less money because we've gotta make a living. But there's not many people that I know of that get into this profession because they want to make a whole lot of money, because it's not the most lucrative profession. But it's something where you get a tremendous personal reward out of your work. The idea, again, that you go to work, the things that you do with your hands changes people's lives. That's incredibly powerful.

0:24:08.4 WL: And just remember that if you feel guilty saying no, remember that saying no to what doesn't fit, it really protects your ability to say yes to the people who truly do need you and who are truly gonna be the best fit for you as well. So now keep in mind what we do with massage therapy. We do deeply meaningful work. We're one of the few professions that still uses the power of human touch to facilitate healing. And I know for me personally that I have a tendency sometimes to take that for granted and sort of forget about it and just get into that whole idea of working on somebody with this idea of, "I'm doing this work, working on my clients," as opposed to maybe more of that idea of working with another human to achieve an outcome that we have so much potential to make change with those individuals. When you recognize that we have the capability to do this tremendously meaningful work, not only for our clients but also for us, and the more we can align that personal mission with our work...

0:25:16.8 WL: And keep in mind, this doesn't make you unable to venture outside of these guidelines that you might set up in your personal mission. It just means you'll focus the majority of your attention on that. It makes you more resilient. And so I encourage you to write down your one sentence today. Put down that personal mission. Maybe even put it on a sticky note where only you see it, like in the back of your office or something like that after you get out of your treatment room. Test that personal mission this week. See what it feels like to have a mission. And again, just maybe like an affirmation, you sort of repeat that mission over and over again right before you go in to see each client. Remember, this is why you're doing the things that you're doing. This is why I'm doing this because it has a direction. It's part of the compass that guides me and is going to take me into the destination that I really want to get to with my professional life and my personal work with these individuals. And clarity in that mission doesn't necessarily eliminate the effort required to do the job, but boy, it makes that effort a whole lot more meaningful.

0:25:49.2 WL: And so, like I was saying earlier, it's not gonna necessarily make your client load or list go down, but it's gonna make the work that you do with those clients so much more valuable and so much more meaningful. And just remember, that is going to have a lot of great benefits, not only for you personally in supporting the emotional and physical challenges of your work, but it's also going to make your practice more successful. Because when you become more aligned with that personal mission, that is going to be picked up by your clients and they're going to recognize this and say, "That's the person that I want to go to because that's where I really feel like somebody cares about me."

0:27:10.5 WL: So again, thank you to all the massage therapists out there who do this incredible work on a day-to-day basis. I do feel truly honored in getting to connect with everyone, to work with you. I work with a lot of students all over the place here in the United States and outside the country as well, and I have tremendous interactions with people and recognize how much that value gets spread throughout the rest of the world because of what my mission is to me personally about helping to reduce pain in the world and doing this through massage therapy. So my invitation is come join me in that process. Find a way to connect with your own personal mission. And when we have more of these mission-aligned practitioners out there, we're going to have even more and more people doing this magnificent work and making great positive change for people in the world. So let's get out there and do that. Thanks for listening today. I look forward to hearing any ideas that you have, things that you want to share about your own personal mission. I'm welcome to hear that as well. And otherwise, I'll see you in the next episode here on the ABMP podcast.

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